Coraline: The Lost Film (Final Archive)
Hey, Is this thing on? Great! Hello, my explorers! I want to say sup bitches to all my friends that salute me! Have you seen a film called Coraline? It's a film about an 11 year old girl named Coraline Jones who discovers a secret in a brick wall and meeting an alternate version of her family. But there was one missing plot to the film that was never supposed to be shown on tv at all. The film stars the leading roles of Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher, Jennifer Saunders, Ian Mcshane and John Hodgman. Dakota Fanning was the actor who played Coraline Jones. She was more serious than Fern from Charlotte's Web, but she hated how her family treated her. There was just something magical about her enthusiasm that made me want to watch the movie again and again. It was one of my favorite movies to watch and stayed like that until I saw the Godfather and Léon: The Professional. While that is all fine from someone's perspective, it’s not what I want to talk about. I work at Laika where the film originally was made, and I have access to their digital archives, that’s as much as I can divulge. We also have the entire lost Coraline plot in multiple formats, including original reels and VHS tapes. I noticed a tape with the production code “607” was missing from the tape set, and it was relocated in a set of old news reels. I really liked and I say liked for a reason, Coraline. So when I decided to go looking for a present for myself, I figured something like a copy of Coraline on Blu Ray would have been perfect, since I liked to watch that film on a daily basis. However, Christmas meant that most of the online DVDs were sold out on most places. I went to look on eBay as well, but figured I could not trust what condition the DVDs would have been in. So I was stuck in a rut for a while, until that package arrived. However, Today it doesn't make us feel guilty that Laika doesn't have that much movies to produce. Like Kubo And The Two Strings and The Boxtrolls. One of their most recent released films on the network, Coraline, was a scary and mildly entertaining movie. Not really my cup of tea, it's a little immature, but i seem to like it a lot. I wondered if there is a actual lost film. I asked Henry Selick, The director of Coraline. I asked If he had any prints of the lost Coraline plot. Henry was so scared. He told me yes in a nervous voice. He did have this lost plot. I wanted to see it, So he gave me a link. It was the download for the lost plot. I clicked it and it downloaded. Minutes later it was done. I clicked the lost film. It was a picture of a dvd. But it had a paper made cover and the title of the DVD was " cOrAliNe ". It was written in a very sloppy way, like it was written by a little kid. I found the dvd in a store. So I then took the DVD and I go to pay for it. But when I did that, a man tapped on my shoulder and said " Um dude, you really don't want that DVD ". I ignored the man and went home, I popped in the DVD and began to watch the episode play. There was no main menu like most Lost Episodes, and it just went straight to the episode. It seemed normal enough. It started with The Jones Family moving into their new house. But this is when things get all fucked up. Coraline was running all over the place on misplaced train tracks on the streets while causing property damage. Nothing too suspicious. She for some reason reluctantly accepts a job as a bodyguard for Wybie Lovat, the father of wealthy Coraline. Just as Charlie Jones begins to develop a fondness for Coraline, a bloodthirsty gunman kidnaps her. Now, Coraline had to pick off a succession of corrupt cops and criminals to reach his ultimate object of vengeance. Following the suicide of the bloodthirsty gunman, Mel Jones decides to take Coraline away from her new home to a hotel in the country for a fresh start. Unfortunately, Coraline is too grief-stricken to really appreciate her new surroundings, and she hasn't made any friends in the hotel. When Coraline begins to harbor resentment toward her mother, an already bad situation gets worse. Meanwhile Coraline is in her hotel room, She strips her clothes off and heads to the restroom. Just then, an important man arrives to Coraline's hotel room; it is Kronk, He goes to the bathroom where coraline is taking a bath. He decides that her parents will be moved back to Minnesota. The next morning, Coraline is unable to wake up. Wybie Lovat impatiently waits outside the hotel room for Coraline to get her breakfast. Finally, Coraline wakes up. She hurries to get breakfast from the hotel lobby. Mel Jones then enacts her plan to teach Coraline a lesson for being so lousy and quickly backs down, Mel Jones goes to her car and waits for coraline. Coraline and Wybie usually push the hotel employees while they were pushing the moving carts to help them get a good start, but is always uncoupled from the Wybie first. This time, However, Wybie Lovat forgot to rescue her and Mel quickly grabs Coraline, with little Wybie behind. Mel Jones races through the Sudrian countryside as fast as she can to show Coraline how hard it is to go over the speeding limit. It is not long before Coraline is quite out of breath. Mel Jones gets arrested and the police take Coraline back to her house. Coraline goes into her bathroom and begins to shower. Suddenly, a bar of soap begins to scream! "What the hell are you doing?" the soap yells. Coraline sees that the soap has a face, and while it's a cute smiley face, She looks really confused. She begins to freak out and throws the soap in the toilet, flushing it down while it screams bloody murder. She notices all of her other cosmetic and hygiene products. Suddenly, The cat that spoke with Coraline walked into the house, He sounded a lot like Patrick Warburton. "CORALINE, VE NEED TO GO TO THE OTHER WORLD TO STOP YOUR OTHER MOTHER!" The cat yelled. Coraline started to speak much like a russian man who spoke english, "I'M MAKING VANCAS! I don't even know what the fuck vancas meant. It sounded like she was trying to say pancakes. Coraline and the cat walk down the street for 4 minutes. This was boring, "YOU SEE CORALINE, CATS LIKE PEOPLE!" They arrive at a goodwill store. Coraline and the cat are somehow kidnapped by Mel Jones. The screen goes black for a while. I was about to eject the DVD until the screen faded white and read,"3 days later" It faded to a forest. It revealed to be that on one tree, you can clearly see a decayed Coraline, with intestines dangled in a grotesquely real fashion, blue-colored fingers, gouged out eyes, and other disgustingly real features.The cat was near the tree, he had many rips in his body and blood was popping out. A note on the tree read, "The Lord has saved me from this bad death hell of a place, which was a suicide. Suicide is your escape." It's even annoying to see this shit everywhere. First of all, I'm not crediting or blaming you, so why do you bother? Second, parents should still watch it before to make sure its safe. BUT IT'S FUCKING NOT! Third, even though it does have a point, but you're making up a excuse here. I'm not complaining, I'm criticizing, ok? So i'm gonna continue In the next scene. Mel Jones grab a lighter, She grabs Wybie Lovat, Blocks all the windows with wood, then she and Wybie went outside, then Mel Jones lit the house on fire with Charlie Jones locked in, then Charlie Jones makes a blood curdling scream, then he dies. What I could hear was piano music playing that sounded like it was some midi file taken from an old 1995 website nobody has heard of until I mentioned it here; and I could see Wybie Lovat having one of his legs tied up on a rope. I ejected the DVD never to look at that same lost film ever again! Category:We need comments! Category:Read by The Shadow Reader Category:Laika Category:Copypasta